My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize