you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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