if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Life is so much better after having sex.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
