please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
