Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
