i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
