After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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