marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
In America we eat man semen.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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