he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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