i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
