i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Your cock deserves a montage
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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