i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
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