I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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