Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
