ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
