If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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