so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
