Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
