dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
