I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...