The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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