Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She looked kinda like Mario Batali?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk

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(727): View more from Florida

im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens

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(571): View more from Virginia

I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."

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(310): View more from California

You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...

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(631): View more from New York

stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well

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(714): View more from California

After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.

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