She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
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It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
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I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.