Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  we dont do blackfin have a good night :)

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  (248): we dont do blackfin have a good night :) http://tfl.nu/42ei
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (700)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up

  (915): View more from Texas

  Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat

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  (561): At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up (915): Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat http://tfl.nu/y8qb
  Replies (32) Good night (3984) Bad night (754)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park

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  (917): It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park http://tfl.nu/yu5j
  Replies (29) Good night (825) Bad night (3058)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

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  (334): I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves. http://tfl.nu/rn3o
  Replies (41) Good night (12619) Bad night (1638)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.

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  (845): I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt. http://tfl.nu/j6pk
  Replies (9) Good night (671) Bad night (2533)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.

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  (519): Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/wxg3
  Replies (21) Good night (5726) Bad night (1179)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.

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  (575): Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship. http://tfl.nu/tvch
  Replies (8) Good night (896) Bad night (3292)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame

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  (410): i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame http://tfl.nu/8cpc
  Replies (12) Good night (3519) Bad night (1353)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?

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  (214): Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me? http://tfl.nu/3sua
  Replies (19) Good night (1106) Bad night (2281)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts

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  (215): Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts http://tfl.nu/dne4
  Replies (2) Good night (1088) Bad night (451)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.

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  (515): I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor. http://tfl.nu/c5bv
  Replies (12) Good night (1712) Bad night (450)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again

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  (905): I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again http://tfl.nu/ut4u
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (695)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.

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  (513): These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours. http://tfl.nu/mjj7
  Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (401)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.

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  (515): If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting. http://tfl.nu/i2k9
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (286)
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  (951): View more from California

  It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.

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  (951): It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set. http://tfl.nu/pz4i
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (334)

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