haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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