5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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