Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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