A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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