The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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