I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
