There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
