He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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