Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
