hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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