so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i now understand why vodka
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
