Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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