marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
return my video game
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
