My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
