Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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