Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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