Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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