She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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