I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
