she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
