idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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