That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
