I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
