the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
