my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
