Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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