it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
