I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize