I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
