i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize