Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
