Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
