ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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