I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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