So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
