Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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