you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
