I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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