speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
