genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
