Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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