This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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