I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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