Kiss
Puke
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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