Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
