We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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