This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
