ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
